...a girl of many moods.

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Dark and silent and complete.

There is this quote that I use as my background for a reason: "I let goLost in oblivion. Dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom.' And at first it seems dark and somehow depressing maybe, but it's actually very positive, to me. Especially this part  Dark and silent and complete. C o m p l e t e.
See, holding on to some things that might never happen, and somehow are not very good for you, and calling that thing hope, it's not healthy. I swear hope can be the best and the worse thing at the same time. Sometimes makes you stronger, sometimes it just prolongs the misery. 

The past 6 months were a big lesson for me, I learned lot of things. I learned how to live simple. I learned how to deal with sadness while having a smile on my face, and staying strong, and doing what you have to do. I learned how to make the best out of every situation. I learned not to care about other people's opinions, but I learned how to accept different opinions and advice. I learned how to control my emotions. I learned how to love people more. I learned how to appreciate the smallest things. I learned how to be strong, when I didn't have the energy or the will for anything. I learned how to be a better human, for me and for others. And most important, I learned how to let things go. Because, when you live in an environment where people come and go constantly, and people that you love can be gone the next day, you learn how to appreciate moments and the present. And then, when they're gone, you accept that. You have to. You have to let go, and move on. Cause life it's about moving on. See, I used to be the type of person that loved to dwell in sadness and things that already ended, just because I felt like if I let go and continued with my life and just be happy, I felt like I was gonna lose all the memories of that time, so in some fucked up way, I felt like being sad and holding on to things that ended is gonna give them more meaning. Is that too confusing? Maybe. But if you're like me, you'll understand.

Long story short, letting go is good. My most used lyrics on my photos and my blog, are from the song I forget where we were by Ben Howard, and there's this part that says: 'maybe it was peace at last, who knew.' And, I can feel the meaning of that part. Once you let go, of whatever it is that's disturbing your soul, you're at peace. And you're complete. You don't need that thing to be a complete person.

I still listen to sad and nostalgic songs, they're my favorite.
I still remember the past, and maybe, just maybe, sometimes I wish for some things to happen again.
I still have my demons.
But, I'm good where I am now, mentally. I don't need a lot to be happy.
I'm complete. 

Until Soon.

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 Donna October ©


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